Male and Female Styles of Conversation Essay

All human beings, regardless of gender, posses a basic need for communication as a form of expression. Sex plays an important role in conversation. Over the years, the difference between women and men with respect to language and conversation has constituted a topic of intense discussion. Most literature materials touching on the issue focus on two primary theories. The first one is the dominance approach which posits that the distinguishing element between the two genders is the result of female subordination and corresponding male domination.

Women come off as a minority of suppressed individuals. The other focus is the difference approach, premised on the belief that women and women are elements of different cultures, so that linguistic and conversational differences are the result of dissimilar cultures (Stewart 2008). Rapport vs. Report According to Deborah Tannen, a linguistics professor as well as writer of the book, “You Just Don’t Understand”, the driving force, or focus behind communication differs from women to men. For men, the focus lies in avoiding failure and achieving creation social standing.

Women on the other hand, aim at eschewing social isolation and achieving strong, meaningful personal connections with others. Men seem to have a need to report information as women desire rapport. Elucidating these aspects further, women look for intimacy in the conversations they hold in a bid to create the said connections. Contrast this with the situation where men want to offer information without creating any dependence on the other parties in a conversation. In addition to that, women have no desire to appear superior while men are at complete ease issuing commands.

They make a beeline for the bottom-line issues, bypassing elements of consultation while their female counterparts seek consensus prior to arriving at any decisions (Stewart 2008). The point belying all these difference is that women’s style of conversation is geared at building relationships whether long or short, while the men’s variant shows expertise, solves problems and gives information. At this juncture, an example is important. On receiving sad news from men, women may sympathize by saying “I’m sorry”, or words to that effect.

Moreover, women would ordinarily draw closer as a mode of connection. Men, however may wonder whether the apology is necessary, seeing that there is no connection between the apologizer and the news received. This is a classic application of male rationality compared to women’s intuitiveness (Stewart 2008). Actual Conversation John Gray, marriage therapist and author of the book “Men Are From Mars, Women are from Venus”, the mode of conversation expresses the greatest differences between the sexes.

As per his observations, women use a far greater number of words to express their ideas and expresses their feelings better. Men on the other hand use far less words and communicate fewer feelings. It is for this reason that women employ conversation as tool to think problems through and a useful means to arriving at a logical, workable solution to the said problems. Their male counterparts would rather assess problems privately, voicing solutions as the element of conversation. This aspect offers an insight as to why men finish discussion on one topic prior to delving into the nest.

Read also  What Are Your First Impressions of the Two Characters and their Conversation_

Women change topics at will, returning to specific topics later. Another glaring difference between the two sexes is the feedback loop. During conversations, women offer feedback with a high degree of tentativeness and tact, remaining sensitive the other party in the conservation. Men are blunt and direct when it comes to feedback, overlooking the intent that the other person takes it personally (Stewart 2008). Instances of this occur often, for instance when a man listens to a female colleague at work or his wife, thinking through their problems aloud.

He easily gets frustrated as the women in question veer off the topic severally, returning to it later. The man then realizes they really do not want a solution to the problems, but someone off whom to bounce ideas. Generally, women are wont to get hurt when they sense that the men are upset but will not express their true feelings (Stewart 2008). Expression Lilian Gland, who penned the book ‘He Says, She Says: Closing the Gap Between the Sexes’, identifies a specific brand of traits distinguishing styles of conversation between men and women.

Oftentimes, women talk about relationships as men express issues like their achievements and their travels. Another trait is the fact that women do not take verbal rejection well. This is also linked to the reality that women approach issues at an emotional angle while men look at things analytically. This is a manifestation of female intuition meeting male rationality. Moreover, women pay great attention to details during conversations. Men simply concentrate on the goals and objectives; they use direct statements, and go straight to the point.

With respect to kinesics, women are less expressive. The facial expressions and voice tones employed by men are far more expressive than those used by women (Stewart 2008). Conclusion From the discussion, it is clear to see that there are distinct differences in the two genders. These differences must be celebrated rather than attacked as they allow for stronger coexistence between men and women. There is a strong sense of justice and equality in modern day interaction, meaning that men and women are on an even keel. This renders the dominance and difference approaches less relevant today.

The mix of female and male styles of conversation gives society greater leverage with regard to problem solving. It also allows for personal growth and significant improvement in the quality of life.

Works Cited Baalen, I. , “Male and female language: growing together? ” 2001, Accessed on 24th Feb 2009 from http://www. let. leidenuniv. nl/hsl_shl/van%20Baalen. htm Stewart L. M. , “Male and Female Communication: Differences Worth Noting” 2008, Accessed on 24th Feb 2009 from https://www. achievesolutions. net/achievesolutions/en/nchealthchoice/Cont ent. do? contentId=10241

More Essays

  • Differences in Men’s and Women’s Speech

    Many works have been devoted to the differences in communication between people. It has been proved that such factors as the interlocutors' education or the status of the relationship influence people's utterances. Furthermore, linguists claim that also biological sex influences the choice of language...

  • What Are Your First Impressions of the Two Characters and their Conversation_

    As the story starts, the two seem completely happy and in love, just strolling down the street with the other loved up couples. When the story unfolds at first, it seems that Michael's wandering eye is mostly harmless. From the examples in the story, it seems that Michael only really enjoyed taking in the...

  • Conflict Resolution

    As a manager, I think the best strategy for relaying the company's decision to downsize would be by oral communication having a formal meeting with the whole team. I believe this is the best method because it keeps morale up and structure within the business. The team will appreciate honesty, and while they...

  • Woman in the Life of African

    The life of nineteenth century African American women was marred by an unfortunate social practice called slavery. While such unjust living condition affected both men and women, the harmful impact was more on women. This is because in the context of slavery, it was the women who suffered worse and the ones...

  • Organizational Dialogue

    In this world of polarizing conflicts, we have glimpsed a new possibility: a way in which people can disagree frankly and passionately, become clearer in heart and mind about their activism, and, at the same time, contribute to a more civil and compassionate society. "Talking with the Enemy" The Boston...

  • An Interview Is a Conversation

    An interview is a conversation between 2 or more people, arranged for certain specific purpose or in general.  For an interview to occur, the individual being called should be known to a certain extent.  However, the process of interview helps the interviewer to screen the individual further and get to know...

  • Methods of Storing Records and the Benefits

    "Databases" are a very useful way of storing records, uses a database called Oracle ‘People System'. The database keeps individual records and what courses have run. It can be accessed by managers and the L&D team, we can produce quick reports. Once information have been entered into the system can always...

  • Action Equation

    In studying the On Strategy system an effective tool is revealed that can help leaders from the CEO all the way down to the frontline supervisors become effective in leading the organization into the flow of the strategy that has been put into place. That tool is the Action Equation. This paper examines how...

  • Tips for Successful Students

    Throughout my reading of Lake and von Baeyer's article, "Tips for Successful Students" I found many similar characteristics between the successful student and myself. In order to reach your full potential as a successful student you must possess portions of each of these characteristics. One can not only be...

  • Artistic Behavior in the Human Female

    The passage above comes from the article, "Artistic Behavior in the Human Female," by Jean Robertson (2003, p. 24). Robertson (2003) argued that female artists define and interpret female sexuality in diverse and conflicting ways, and by using different artistic strategies. Robertson makes assumptions about...

Read also  An Interview Is a Conversation